Perspectives on Motherhood May 9, 2010

Me with the girls who call me "Mom"

The idea of motherhood for me has changed a great deal from when I was a child and HAD a mom (note:  I still have a mom!), to when I had children of my own and BECAME a mom.  Here are some things I have learned:

• When you are a child and you HAVE a mom, you may think she has some pretty strange tastes.  She likes the end piece of the bread, she always eats the burnt piece of chicken, and how can she stand those licorice jelly beans?

When you ARE a mom, you realize that when you go to make yourself a sandwich, the only pieces of bread that will be left in the bread bag are the end pieces.  At dinner you know that lonely burnt piece of chicken will just sit there unless you eat it –besides, you burned it, you earned it, you get to eat it!  And black jelly beans… well if you ever hope to eat another jelly bean at Easter time, you better learn to like the black ones.  They are my mom’s favorites.

• When you HAVE a mom, you think it is sooooooo sweet that she always saves that last piece of cake and puts it up on a special little plate up in the cabinet just for you.

When you ARE a mom, you remind yourself once again, that next time you need to find a better hiding place for your secret snack time treats.

And just when you are tempted to have a pity party for yourself, you realize that Mom does not live by bread (or chicken or jelly beans) alone and that the most important nourishment you can get will come from God’s word.  (Luke 4:4)

• When you HAVE a mom, there may be times when you are convinced that she is not nearly as fun as Dad and wonder why she doesn’t always come with you and Dad to the park, or the lake, or on a bike ride.

When you ARE a mom, you find yourself daydreaming about Dad walking in the door and announcing Prince Charming style that he is taking the kids to the park, because you know what that means…. you are going to get…. a BATH!

And just when you are about to lose your mind wondering if you’ll ever wash your hair again, you are reminded that a clean pure heart is even more important to God.  (Matthew 5:8)

• When you HAVE a mom, you may think she does some strange things like crying when she is happy?!

When you ARE a mom, you know in your heart that those initial tears of joy you shed when you first saw your baby’s sweet face are only the beginning of many tears that you will have throughout the life of this child:  happy tears, sad tears, frustrated tears, worried tears, prayerful tears.

And just when we begin to wonder what all this crying in about, we can remind ourselves that our tears are precious to God.  The Bible says He sees our tears, saves our tears, and one day will wipe away all our tears.  (Psalm 126:5, Psalm 56:8, Revelation 21:4)

• When you have a mom, you may find yourself wondering why she can’t be a “cool mom” that’s more like a best friend than a parent.

When you ARE a mom, you will find yourself calling your really cool best friend (who just happens to be your Mom) and asking her when you can quit being mom & just be a friend to your child.  She’ll tell you that the better parent you are now, the better friend you will have later.

And just when you are about to give up on your child having the kind of friends she needs, you will remember to tell her that Jesus is a friend that sticks closer than a brother, and He is always there. (Proverbs 18:24)

• When you HAVE a mom, you know that if you cry out because you had a bad dream, she will be beside your bed to comfort you.

When you ARE a mom and you hear that little cry from down the hall, first you wonder why Daddy ears don’t work as well as Mommy ears in the middle of the night, and then you rush to your child’s bed to assure her everything will be ok.

Just when you start to wonder how long you will have to make these midnight comfort runs, you are reminded that you won’t always get to, but that you serve the God of all comfort who promises His children that He is a very present help in time of trouble. (Psalm 46:1)

• When you HAVE a mom, you know she loves you.

When you ARE a mom, you suddenly know HOW MUCH she has loved you.

You also begin to get a glimpse, just a glimpse, of how much God must love you. (John 3:16)

• When you have a mom, you are convinced that even though she does some things you don’t understand, she is the greatest mom in the world.

When you ARE a mom, you look around at other moms and you are convinced that you are NOT the greatest mom in the world.

Then you remember who gave you this job.  God Himself has graciously given you this job!  Your job is to raise your children so that they can move from depending on you to depending on God.  And as you serve this great God, He has everything you need to be the mother He has called you to be.  (1 Thessalonians 5:24)

Motherhood itself is the perfect Mother’s Day Gift!

Happy Mother’s Day to my mom, who has taught me so much & loved me through all the tough stuff, and to all the other moms out there trying to do the best you can for your children.

I’d love to hear what perspectives motherhood has changed for you.  Leave a note in the comments…

I’m a Believer!
Laura

Linky Blog Love – The Deep End March 9, 2009

I thought I would share with you one of my favorite blogs on the internet, my husband’s blog – Swim The Deep End.

Sometimes he’s got a Bible study going on, sometimes he’s Just Sayin’, sometimes he’s playing doctor, or teaching S.W.I.M. lessons.  Occasionally he’s having a bold conversation about Jesus with a professing atheist.  Often, he shares quotes from admirable people of faith. 

There is only one complete and total inaccuracy on his website.  In this quote about me you will also discover his delightful unique sense of humor and gift for sarcasm:

She is sleek and fast in the water, sort of a cross between a torpedo and a Mako shark. You should see her rocket up out of the surf onto a floating inflatable raft. Simply spectacular.

What can I say?  I married a marvelously complex, multi-talented man who also has a love for God’s word.  So long as he’s swimming the deep end and not going off the deep end, I’m grateful. 

Stop by and take the opportunity to either SINK or SWIM.

II Timothy 3:16 “All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness:”

God’s Holy Word is the instruction manual for life. In it we find doctrine (what is RIGHT), reproof (what is WRONG), correction (how to DO right), and instruction (how to STAY right.) If we don’t look in God’s Word, and learn how to S.W.I.M. (See What It Means), then we run the risk that we might S.I.N.K. (Step In Not Knowing). Spend time reading your Bible each and every day. God’s promise is that it is “profitable.”

I’m a Believer!

Laura

Daughters… January 23, 2009

I have three…three girls that God saw fit to give to my husband and me.  (Amazin’ in itself!)   I’m the oldest and only daughter with three little brothers, so even though I am a girl, I was a little concerned about what to do with girls, having grown up taking care of boys.  I was grateful when baby number one was a girl because my mom always told me that “Every mommy needs a little girl.” (It still makes me feel special when I think about that – thanks, mom!)   Whew – I was glad to get that out of the way.  After that, I just knew the others would be boys.  BOY, was I wrong.  Two more beautiful baby girls.  And I was grateful for them, too!  And now, well, here’s the problem…

It has recently come to my attention that these three girls are growing up.  As I said to my husband in December (with a new sense of realization)  “THE BABY IS NINE!!”  And just this month, my oldest has turned 16, gotten a driver’s license, and started her first job.  Last summer my sweet middle child 🙂  hit double digits!!

This has thrown me into a little bit of shock, I think.  I’m to the point of struggling on a daily basis with measuring the amount of mercy and grace I give to each child, wondering if I’m being too lenient or too strict.  Am I holding them back from discovering something wonderful, or am I protecting them from being discovered by evil?  Am I parenting by faith, in full assurance that God has His hand on their hearts and their lives, or am I parenting in fear, living out every “what if” scenario in my mind in great detail?  Sometimes I’ve gotten to the point that I don’t even know what to pray for.  For those of you who have done this, or are in the process of doing this, maybe you can agree that THIS IS HARD. 

I found something this morning that helped me immensely!  I dug a beautiful treasure out of God’s word that spoke to me suddenly and strongly.

…that our daughters may be as corner stones, polished after the similitude of a palace:  ~Psalm 144:12b

King David was praying for protection for his kingdom and thanking God for all the strength and provision He gives His people and he stopped and asked that the daughters would be “as corner stones.”  And not just any plain old cornerstones (too boring!) – but “polished” and “after the similitude of a palace.”  This is breathtaking to me.

What exactly is a cornerstone?  Well, off hand I know that Jesus is the chief cornerstone (Eph. 2:20).  That’s good company to be in!  We are supposed to be becoming more and more like Jesus, so praying for my daughters to be corner stones seems like a fabulous idea!

Corner stones in this scripture probably more specifically mean  pillars.  Pillars were used in building temples and palaces.  They were the support system the structure.  Pillars of old temples and palaces were beautifully carved, carefully crafted, and this verse refers to them as being “polished.”  

I yearn for my daughters to be polished, yet  I can’t imagine that polishing stones or pillars of stone is an easy process.  It must involve cutting away parts of the stone that won’t meet the design standards.  Surely it involves a constant attention to bringing out the beauty of the stone without marring it.  It must take a careful hand to cut the stone to the proper size and shape and yet maintain the strength and integrity of the original material.  I’m certain it has to be difficult to balance these tall structures so that they will stand strong and not topple, for if they fall, they may shatter into tiny pieces that can’t be put back together again.

But when the stone is finally fashioned, this verse says that it is fit for use in a palace!  What better place for a daughter of the King of kings, than a palace?

This is my prayer for my daughters – that they “would be as corner stones, polished after the similitude of a palace.”

I can see that it will be a long, sometimes painful, sometimes joyful, sometimes tedious process.  I know my husband and I won’t be able to do it by ourselves.  We will need the Master Craftsman to guide our hearts and our hands and fix our mistakes.  He may have to take the chisel out of our hands and replace it with a gentle polishing cloth, or point out to us a rough spot that we ignored because it seemed to difficult to reach.  But when I see my girls standing strong, supporting whatever is placed upon them, carefully polished into the beautifully strong yet fragile pillars that God has designed them to be,  I know it will be worth it.

For our conversation is in heaven; from whence also we look for the Saviour, the Lord Jesus Christ:  Who shall change our vile body, that it may be fashioned like unto his glorious body, according to the working whereby he is able even to subdue all things unto himself.  Therefore, my brethren dearly beloved and longed for, my joy and crown, so stand fast in the Lord, my dearly beloved.   ~Philippians 3:20-4:1

I’m a Believer!

Laura